Conflict in the workplace or any interpersonal setting is inevitable. The way individuals or organizations handle conflict can significantly affect performance, morale, and outcomes. One of the five well-known conflict management strategies identified by Thomas-Kilmann is competing, which involves assertively pursuing one’s own concerns at the expense of others. While often seen as aggressive or domineering, the competing strategy has its place—and when used correctly, it can be the most effective approach. In this article, we’ll dive into what the competing strategy entails, when it is the best approach, and provide realistic examples from business, leadership, crisis management, negotiations, and personal relationships to illustrate its application.
What Is the Competing Conflict Management Strategy?
The competing style is characterized by high assertiveness and low cooperativeness. It’s a power-oriented mode where an individual uses formal authority, force, or persuasion to win their position. This strategy is often adopted by individuals in leadership roles, lawyers, negotiators, or during crisis scenarios where quick, decisive action is needed.
Key Traits of the Competing Strategy:
- Prioritizes own goals over relationships
- Often requires authority or leverage
- May involve standing ground against opposition
- Can result in win-lose outcomes
Competing is not always about being aggressive—it can be firm, strategic, and resolute, especially when compromise would lead to a suboptimal or harmful result.
When Is Competing the Best Strategy?
Competing is appropriate when:
- Quick, decisive action is needed.
- Unpopular decisions must be made.
- There is no time for collaboration.
- The issue is critical to company success or personal values.
- Rules, ethics, or safety are on the line.
- The opposing party is manipulative or acting in bad faith.
Let’s now walk through examples in different settings to showcase these points.
Example 1: A CEO Resisting a Risky Merger
Context:
A board of directors pushes for a merger with a larger competitor. The deal seems lucrative but compromises the company’s long-term independence and strategic direction. The CEO, having evaluated the risks, strongly believes it will damage the brand and culture.
Use of Competing:
Rather than seeking a middle ground, the CEO assertively rejects the proposal in meetings, provides extensive data showing long-term damage, and uses executive power to block the decision.
Why It Works:
This isn’t a situation where compromise is beneficial. The CEO is protecting the company’s core values and vision, taking a stand even against majority pressure. Her assertiveness preserves what she believes is best for the organization.
Example 2: A Project Manager Enforcing a Critical Deadline
Context:
A software release is scheduled for next month. A team member asks for a two-week delay to refine a non-essential feature, risking the timeline and contractual obligations with a client.
Use of Competing:
The project manager declines the request outright, stating the risks involved and redirects the team member’s focus to priority tasks.
Why It Works:
Time is a critical resource here. The manager’s firm stance keeps the project on schedule and shows strong leadership under pressure. Delaying could jeopardize business credibility.
Example 3: A Union Representative Negotiating Worker Safety
Context:
During collective bargaining, a company refuses to provide adequate protective gear for workers in hazardous environments, citing cost.
Use of Competing:
The union rep refuses to concede, even at the cost of escalating tensions. He threatens legal action, mobilizes workers, and pressures public opinion through media.
Why It Works:
Worker safety is non-negotiable. This is an ethical conflict where assertiveness is essential. The union leader isn’t willing to bargain down on matters that affect health and well-being.
Example 4: A Lawyer in a High-Stakes Courtroom Battle
Context:
A criminal defense attorney is convinced that a client is innocent and is being scapegoated by a corporate entity.
Use of Competing:
The lawyer uses aggressive cross-examination, challenges evidence, and passionately argues for full dismissal, rather than accepting a plea deal.
Why It Works:
Justice and freedom are at stake. In this environment, collaboration with the prosecution isn’t appropriate—assertive advocacy is the only strategy that aligns with the goal.
Example 5: A Startup Founder Standing Up to Investor Demands
Context:
Investors demand that a startup founder change the core functionality of a product to match market trends, which contradicts the founder’s unique vision.
Use of Competing:
The founder refuses to comply, knowing that conforming would dilute the startup’s uniqueness. Instead, they look for alternative funding and publicly defend the original product vision.
Why It Works:
Founders need to protect the integrity of their vision. This example illustrates how standing firm, even against money and pressure, can be the right path when creative identity is at stake.
Example 6: Government Leader Enforcing Pandemic Mandates
Context:
During a pandemic, a government leader mandates lockdowns and mask mandates despite public protests and political backlash.
Use of Competing:
Instead of negotiating looser rules to appease certain groups, the leader enforces regulations backed by public health data and communicates with authority.
Why It Works:
In emergencies, lives are on the line. Leadership requires firmness and an unwavering commitment to the common good, even when decisions are unpopular.
Example 7: An HR Manager Addressing Harassment
Context:
An employee reports repeated harassment by a senior manager. Investigations confirm inappropriate behavior.
Use of Competing:
The HR manager moves to terminate the senior manager immediately, bypassing informal mediation or progressive warnings.
Why It Works:
There’s zero tolerance for harassment. A decisive, non-negotiable response maintains workplace integrity and deters future misconduct.
Example 8: A Procurement Head Refusing Bribery
Context:
A supplier offers perks to a procurement head in exchange for a favorable contract.
Use of Competing:
The head firmly rejects the offer and reports it to the compliance team, risking a strained vendor relationship.
Why It Works:
Ethical breaches require uncompromising positions. There’s no gray area here, and a firm stand reinforces the company’s integrity.
Example 9: A Teacher Dealing with Plagiarism
Context:
A student submits an essay that is clearly plagiarized. The student begs for leniency, citing stress and mental health concerns.
Use of Competing:
The teacher enforces a zero-tolerance policy, gives a failing grade, and refers the case to the academic board.
Why It Works:
Academic honesty is foundational. Making exceptions undermines fairness for all. The teacher’s assertiveness upholds the institution’s standards.
Example 10: A Parent Protecting Their Child
Context:
A parent discovers that a neighborhood bully is targeting their child. The bully’s parents are dismissive.
Use of Competing:
The parent escalates to the school administration and, if necessary, legal channels — insisting on intervention, even if it causes friction.
Why It Works:
When it comes to a child’s safety, appeasement isn’t an option. Standing up firmly shows commitment to protecting loved ones.
Example 11: A Developer Protecting Codebase Integrity
Context:
A marketing director demands rushed changes to the backend to enable a flashy campaign feature, even though the developer warns it could break the site.
Use of Competing:
The developer pushes back strongly, documents the technical risks, and refuses to implement until a proper review is conducted.
Why It Works:
Technical integrity and system stability are crucial. This is a case where technical authority should override superficial demands.
Example 12: Military Leadership in High-Risk Operations
Context:
A mission is underway, and a junior officer suggests deviating from protocol to save time.
Use of Competing:
The commanding officer rejects the suggestion immediately, citing chain of command and established risk assessments.
Why It Works:
In high-stakes environments like the military, discipline and protocol save lives. Assertive decisions are often non-negotiable.
Key Takeaways: When and Why Competing Works
The competing strategy is often misunderstood as merely being domineering or ego-driven. But when used with judgment, purpose, and responsibility, it can produce the most ethical, effective, and sustainable outcomes.
